2008: 12-4 (1st [lost final])
2007: 9-6 (6th)
2006: 10-6 (1st)
Howard Eskin claims the Lobes are a fantasy football dynasty.
A "dynasty?!?!" When people blithely toss around words like "Dynasty," to anoint someone so diligently, they're usually uptight, dickless tools trying to advance their careers as sports commentators.
But sometimes people look beyond that and their mind drifts onto individuals whose name almost became synonymous with a sport. Perhaps they think of Lulu Lilliputtypatty, who dominated the VPO (Vaginally Propelled Objects) league from 1997 through 2006. Lulu holds a host of "unbreakable" records, including most tournament wins (83), largest candle extinguishing in one queef (104 candles, on a multilayer, chocolate chiffon birthday cake), and champagne cork distance (an eye-popping 14.23 meters). The "Atlanta Snapper Flapper" is truly in an elite class.
Like Lulu, who's reign ended due to the tragic side-effects from a freakish ping-pong ball crushing accident, the sun is setting on the Lobes' power. And whereas door-sized posters of Lulu respectfully adorn the bedroom walls of Bert's saintly sons, the disgust and resentment from those same two children will explode on him like JT nutting on a strung-out transvestite's face after a $5 hummer.
Falling from grace can be painful and sad. But the mighty must fall. And unlike Lulu's sad demise, Bert's will be hilarious.
At this point, literally every single player on the entire team is injured. That is bad news for Bert and great news for all the other Lulu wannabes out there to start their own dynasty.
Prosthetic Frontal Lobe 2009 Summary
- by CDP
Complete implosion during draft. Unprepared for other owner's creative techniques. High risk of suicide.
Season Record: 0-13
- by CDP
Complete implosion during draft. Unprepared for other owner's creative techniques. High risk of suicide.
Season Record: 0-13
2 comments:
You've lost your impartiality - and your marbles. The"dynasty" will continue.
By the way, how did you confirm the spelling of "queef"?
I certainly did! This is serious journalism here.
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