2009 Preview: Token Chicks

Recent History:
2008: 7-9 (5th)
2007: 5-10 (12th)
2006: 9-7 (3rd)

"Why is it you brainless, sausage-dangling jackasses think that you're superior to girls when it comes to football?!" exploded TC owner Karen Ballstomper, on her way to running a blue streak that would curdle a truck driver's oatmeal.

"Last year, I kicked almost ALL your stupid asses! Look at Rupert, I RULED that piece of shit! John Amer is a stone cold pussy, too. And Burnips - he isn't even fit to mop up after a good douching much less draft and run a fantasy football team!

"Don't get me started on Dan and his f***ing penny-loafer, f*g ensembles. I swear I saw him sucking c**k in an alley in Allentown just for fun. Trash-talking condom milker is what he is - and tell that mary that if he makes another comment about my erect nipples I'm gonna snap off his arm and fist-f**k his a** with it!

"Which reminds me of brother Don. Jes*s f**king Chr*st, Brandy has a bigger d*ck than Don!

"Oh yeah, that twisted sh*thole Lefleffle won't stop e-mailing me close-up pictures of sphincters. What the f**k is that?!? Why the f**k would anyone get anything out of that? If you want to worship ass, fine - just don't share that glory-hole sh*t with me! How that f**king turd won the league last year is totally beyond my comprehension.

"And by the way, I've seen Patrick's little dipper, and I can tell you with 100% confidence that if you guys are impressed, you must all be hung like a dwarf flea! My husband can drive nails with his love dagger. You losers are PATHETIC!

"I have no idea why I slum with these a**holes every year. Such a total waste of time and energy."

All that just because the conversation was started with an innocent offer of a fist-full of Midol. What a bitch! Can you imagine what she'd say if we told her that her husband already told us he always uses a strap-on?! Yikes...

Token Chicks 2009 Summary
- by CDP
If prediction application run during non-menstrual phase, results would be different.
Season Record: 13-0