Lowest Point Record in Jeopardy!!!
The Baltimorons are facing a date with destiny.
The benefactors of the most humiliating defeat in lig history where the perennial suck-hole (then named the "Phoenixville Fuffy Puppies" prior to computer take-over) Pussies could only manage to put up 39.9 points, are sitting today with only 29 points.
An injured Ryan Grant (listed officially as "Probable") is the only thing standing between Baltimoron owner Dave Burris and ignominy (look it up, you ignorant douche bags!).
PAGNA owner, Patrice Cahill, was confident that his team's candy-ass 64 point total would be sufficient to hold the win. Winner of 2007's "Best Man-gina" contest in Sick Twit magazine boasted, "I'm invincible." Oddly, Patrice burst into tears after being shown the point totals posted by his reserves - including Sean Alexander, who was watching Sunday's games from the bar at The Boom-Boom Lounge in Las Vegas.
When asked for comment, Rupert, whose team put up 92 points, could only mutter, "I suck so bad... I'll never win anything... I keep pulling the trigger on this gun, but I keep missing myself!"
The Baltimorons lost Tom Brady - probably for the year. The team's backup quarterback, Vince Young, tore an MCL on Sunday and is done for the year. The Morons are now without a viable quarterback!
Rumors surfaced that the typically injury-riddled Lobes encouraged all lig owners to bid up all the free agent quarterbacks, finding humor in his old chum's misery. When asked to confirm or deny the rumors, the Lobes' spokesman, Nathan Thurm, would only say, "Of course we'd never do anything like that. But if we did, it'd be really funny."
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