2010 Reidles Predictions

OK. Last year, I was pretty good on the key issues. I try again.

Tubbo will not let Kolb run a 2 minute drill and some of the diehards will have to finally recognize that Reid is the cause of ineffective 2 min offense.
Record against teams with better than 500 records will be something like 2 and 6.
Record against sub-500 teams will be 6 - 2.
Final record 8-8.
McNabb will have more successful no-huddle drives than Kolb.

High level prediction: the same geniuses who pit together the horribly awful team that needed to be rebuilt this year - although it was concurrently a GREAT team - will fail to reach conference finals this year. And next year. And the year after that.

UPDATED May 2, 2018: I was wrong. 10-6 record, which was enough to win a shtty division. 5 wins against teams with records of 8-8 or better (including 2 vs. Giants), meaning 5 wins against sub-500 teams. Only 2 losses vs. good teams, so 5-2 record against good teams, shattering the statistical trends of the big tomato. 

HOWEVER...

In 2011, the team went 8-8. They registered 4 wins against 8-8 or better teams, but since 3 of the 4 were against 8-8 teams, this is worse than it looks. 6 of their 8 losses were against 8-8 or better teams (one 8-8 team). So they were very, very close to the prediction for 2010. 

AND THEN...

2012 was the merciful end of the fat man's reign. Good riddance and long live Doug Pederson!!!

Draft Horrors

Seriously.

Bad.

But as you look at the photos of the wretched affair, you might get the feeling that most of the participants are literate. Rest assured, the material apparently being referenced by the lig owners in the pics is all cartoons and porn. None of these imbeciles know what's going on in the world of the NFL. 

This is ridiculous.

Everyone else sucks

Prediction Follow-Through

OK, so it's time to do some accounting on my prediction from earlier in the pre-season.

As some of you may know, I've successfully formed a mental force-field between my love for the Eagles and the triumvirate of turd-sucking jackasses that own and run the team (Reid, Banner, and Lurie) for their personal glory. I know that many apologists demand that I worship them. They've been competitive™ for 11 years (as if they've never been competitive... freaking Rich Kotite was probably the most clueless coach ever and he was always "competitive" [10-6, 11-5, 8-8, and 7-9 = 36-28]... please go vigorously f**k yourself before trying to shove the ridiculous, "they're competitive™" bullsh*t back at me!!). So being competitive™ with no championships makes them some sort of untouchable, infallible gods? Sure.

While the Giants and now the Cowpies (2010 could be their year! again...) leapfrog us to Super Bowl wins during this amazing reign of such spectacular super geniuses, we must genuflect before the holy trinity! "You could be the Detroit Lions" Oh really? That's the only other possibility? Thanks so very friggin much. Detroit hates to change GMs, too, and they have no fewer Super Bowl rings than the Eagles, do they.

But I digress....

By calling them the "Reidles," I convince myself that the team is just temporarily held hostage by vermin and will one day be released. It has truly made the season 100% stress-free. You should try it!

So in red is my self-assessment of the predictions I made....

Eagles record this year: 7-9

OK, not very well done. Final record was 11-5. However, I'd like to note that this is a somewhat fraudulent record when you look at the lame-ass competition they went up against. Of their 5 losses, the teams (removing the win against the Reidles) are a combined 37 and 22 (.630). The awesome competition they faced for their 11 wins were a lusty 59 and 74 (.440). 

Of course, Dallas played most of the same mess - but the obvious difference is that they dominated the Reidles 3 times this year. There can be no doubt who's on the outside of the "powerhouse" teams.

• There will be at least one [more] disastrous injury and like years past, will be trumpeted as an excuse for a bad year... as if no other team ever loses a good player.
  Partially nailed that one.... Some folks are saying the Jackson injury cost them the last 2 games. Maybe not a LOT of folks. But the kool-aid sipping reid lovers WILL do so over the next few months. That is a lock. (OK, maybe that's technically not a true evaluation, but c'mon - you know it!)
• The Defensive Coordinator will be a public scapegoat - even though Jim Johnson's death has totally removed the last realm that fat-ass reid doesn't have 100% control over. So they drafted mostly offense and ignored the defense... and let leaders go away. 
  Nailed that one.... all I hear on WIP today is how desperately we need pass-rushing linemen, linebackers, and safeties. 
• Defense will be in the bottom 20% of the league.
  I admit this wasn't dead on. However, I point again to the filth that they played for most of the season. Bottom 20% would be the bottom 7 (.2 * 32). I went far on the limb with that. Even so, they were 12th in yards per game given up (good, not great), but 13th from the BOTTOM in points per game given up. Therefore, I drunkenly claim that I nailed that one, too! 
• Offense will be near the top of the league. But since there will be a lot of 'catch up' going on with bad special teams and bad defense and bad offensive line, turnovers will be among the highest in the league.
  On the first part, I nailed it (5th in league in scoring; 11th in yards per game). On the turnover front, I was dead wrong (tied for 17th in fumbles lost; tied for 22nd in picks).
• There will still never be a hurry-up, no-huddle offense.
  Didn't watch any of the games this season (except to laugh at reid getting outcoached... for the upteenth time... on Saturday). I think they used no-huddle once? Someone has to tell me. I'll still claim I nailed that one until told otherwise....
• All the same stupid problems that have occurred repeatedly over the years (no 2-minute drill, bad challenge decisions, wasted timeouts, etc.) will still be there.
  Again, having to rely on what I heard from folks on the radio shows. Even if you're generous and say fat-ass has improved in this area, he still sucks balls. So another one nailed... albeit a lazy and easy one to predict.
• I'm so annoyed and disappointed that I can't go any further.